Are running through my mind. It's monday night, 9:15 and I'm basically sitting here paralyzed. I want to go to the gym. I want to go grocery shopping. I want to read about my patient's conditions. I need to start writing the discharge summaries for my patients. I want to get caught up on email. I want to get caught up on talking to family. I really want to get caught up on sleep!
I hoped that a cup of coffee would start a nuclear reaction of energy and that somehow, I'd find the energy to do something from the above list. And nada..
Work is busy. Busy, blah blah blah. But it's good. I find I set myself up for this dilemma every day. We're suppose to work 7am to 4pm. "suppose to." Today was 6:30 am. I was hoping to make it out of there by 4pm today (so I could get some of the above errands done). Realistically I knew it would be 6pm. But shit, again there was a patient to be discharge at the last minute. And then I wanted to go check up on 2 patients before I left for then night. I left late.
It's not really a big deal, except that I had expectations to get some stuff done this evening. Which is why it is now 9:30, and I can't even figure out where to start.
Today was a pretty good reality check. Just when things seem to be clicking along great, feeling pretty confident that I've learned a lot so far, wham-O! Very complicated patient. A fantastic patient who I totally adore, who is a bit sick. I admitted her last night. At first it seemed kind of straight forward when the call came from the ED. Pneumonia. Simple stuff. But then when I met the patient and got the story and looked at her preliminary labs, the simplicity quickly faded. My current reference frame for seeing patients is "in 3 years and 2 months (yikes), I may very well be working out in the boonies and what would I do in this situation." Usually that forces me to think things through and things start falling into place. Last night, though, ll I could come up with was: Better get the hematologist to tell me what the hell is going on! And as I headed home last night, I was determined to put on my detective hat look up some of the abnormalities, and figure out what was going on... But I was just too tired to muster the strength to open my "Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine." I'm not going to read tonight either...
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