White Russian & Into the Wild

I remember vividly being at Coors field, for a Rockies game. Mike and I were there. It was an afternoon game in the middle of the week. A carefree day. We got there early to have a drink before the game started. The bartender asked me what I wanted, and I ordered a white russian. I asked the bartender if she knew how to make one, and she acted all blond and put on this act trying to figure out what was in it. I didn't know that they were a common drink. I tipped her well. That became my drink in that period of my life. A White Russian. I drank them clubbing at Proteus. I occasionally had them after working night shift in the ER. I'd sit on the couch, relax, and sip a white russian, and our cat (Guinness) would lick the cup afterwards getting the last few drops. What 21 year old drinks white russians?

Chris McCandless drank white russians. I was reading Into The Wild at the time. I had a group of friends at that point in my life who got it. Who understood that the most valued things in life were morals, and honesty. That life wasn't about settling down and collecting trophies. This side of the story isn't presented so clearly in the movie, but it is clear in the book.

Seeing that movie reminded me of who I was when I was 18, 19, 20, 21, and last night, part of me was saddened by who I have become. Though, in a way it has been refreshing. I've thought about this more and more today. The movie was a wake up call reminding me of things I use to believe, which are still true, and reminding me how I wanted to live my life. It was a gentle nudge to getting back on track. It was a gentle nudge reminding me why I am in medicine. It was a gentle nudge reminding me what I value in my life.

I think I'll have a white russian thursday when I'm post-call and ready to sleep.